"Prosti-tuition" : Students by day, sex workers by night

Inquirer Visayas

12:21 am | Saturday, November 19th, 2011

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CEBU CITY—Twenty-year-old Sophia looks like a typical colegiala who has a dream of becoming a respected lawyer someday.

Barely 5-foot tall, she keeps a low profile at the Catholic-run school in Cebu City, where she is a freshman student, as she doesn’t want to call anybody’s attention to herself.

It is because she keeps a secret from her classmates: She sells her flesh to pay her school bills.

Sofia works as a GRO (guest relations officer) in an elite night club and offers sexual services to men, mostly foreigners.

“I don’t care if I’m a prostitute. I will finish my studies no matter what,” she said.

Sofia’s case is not isolated. According to Julius Bungcaras, head of the International Justice Mission (IJM) Cebu’s Community Mobilization for Churches and Students, 10-15 percent of every 1,000 students  resort to prostitution.

The IJM is a human rights organization that rescues victims of slavery, sexual exploitation and other forms of violent oppression.

Bungcaras said that based on the cases he had handled, students were prostituted not only because they needed to pay the tuition. Other reasons include financial independence, materialism and peer pressure where students feel the need to have what their friends have, he said.

Sofia’s story

Sofia, who hails from Negros Oriental, was left to the care of her aunt when she was 12 years old after her father died and her mother abandoned her.

After graduating from high school, the 16-year-old lass moved from Negros Oriental to Cebu to pursue a college degree. Little did she know that school fees in Cebu were expensive.

For three years, she did odd jobs—from housemaid to salesgirl—so she could save enough money for her tuition. But the pay was not enough to even cover her basic needs.

She quit being a salesgirl and had been unemployed for a while. In April last year, a friend, who worked as a GRO, told her that their night club was looking for another GRO. Since work was hard to come by for a high school graduate, she took it.

“I didn’t like it but I had no choice,” Sofia cried.

The pay was good though, and that made her decide to stay in the business. Since then, she had been to nine different clubs, where the tips ranged from P1,000 to P8,000 from her permanent “guests.”

‘Private’ services

“We call our clients guests. A gathering of GROs is called a show-up. I am one of those. Then the guests would choose who among the GROs they like,” she said in Cebuano.

Aside from tips, she receives a fixed pay of P120 per hour from the club and gets not less than P1,000 per customer for “private” services.

Sofia goes to school in the morning because her work starts from

7 p.m. and ends at 4 a.m.

Her income allows her to buy food, as well as pay for her board and lodging, and other school fees. She has extra money to send to her aunt in Negros Oriental, who doesn’t have a clue on how she earns a living.

Sofia said she also spent on a new cellular phone, clothes and even shabu (methamphetamine hydrochloride) to keep her up all night.

Aside from other clients, Sofia is being maintained by her “boyfriend”—a 61-year-old Norwegian who paid her tuition this year.

Sexually transmitted diseases, including the incurable Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS), don’t scare her. She is more afraid of getting killed by her customers without any witnesses inside the hotel than dying of AIDS.

What matters to her is to finish her studies so she could become a top lawyer and command the respect she has always wanted.

The lure of fast bucks is one of the factors some student-sex workers quit school and make prostitution a career path.

Miles’ story

One of them is 20-year-old Miles, who decided to drop out because she believes that prostitution is the easiest way to help her mother and three siblings, as well as provide her wants and needs.

“I can give my mother more money if I continue working as a a sex worker. It’s fast and more practical than going to school,” Miles said in Cebuano.

She gets at least P1,000 per hour from her customers, who are mostly foreigners.

Unlike Sofia, Miles does not work in a club but stays home and waits for a text message from customers on where and what time they will meet.

She uses her earnings to buy new cellular phones, trendy clothes, food and makeup. “Sometimes, I can buy all I want, but I never took drugs,” she said.

Asked if she was scared of catching the virus that causes AIDS, Miles said she was confident that she was healthy since she uses condoms for every sexual contact and has a regular checkup every three months.

Although she had no plans of going back to school, Miles acknowledged that her chosen career would not last forever. Eventually, she would have to get a degree so she can get a decent job.

Toni’s story

A gay escort named Toni, a fine arts student, confirmed that many students are sex workers. “I don’t think the government can do anything because it’s not just me who’s into it. There are a lot of us,” he said.

Toni, 22, offers sexual service to homosexual foreigners and gets P1,500 to P 2,500 per client. “It was easy money,” he said. He usually has two clients per night.

Toni said that because of his income, he was able to provide for his family and pay his tuition.

“We join dating sites where most of the foreigners (mostly old Caucasian and Americans) come to visit and meet us for sex,” he said.

He uses condoms, he said, because he is scared of getting AIDS. “We’ve been tested (with AIDS) last April and we’re thankful we’re negative,” he said.

Toni had stopped going to school since he broke up with his boyfriend, a foreigner who paid for his tuition. Now that he has saved some money, he plans to go back to school and get a degree.

“If I couldn’t finish college and get a good job, maybe I’ll end up being an escort forever,” Toni said.

Annabelle Maglasang, guidance counselor of the University of the Philippines High School, said the escalating tuition has forced students to sell their bodies. “The end does not justify the means. But, I can’t blame them (student prostitutes),” she said.

No information

The government has been working to prevent sexual exploitation of students through various agencies, but these do not have information on the number of prostituted students. The Department of Social Welfare and Development and the police intervene only when there are complaints or suspicion of trafficking.

The City Health Office, on the other hand, doesn’t give special attention to student-prostitutes. It merely conducts surveillance operations and holds periodic medical checkup on sex workers.

For Sofia, Toni and Miles, the only way to stop the flesh trade, especially among students, is to make education affordable. Unless they are able to get a degree and find decent jobs, they know they will have to stay in the game to survive.

BREAK CHAINS

Break Chains

The discreet pursuit for justice amidst the celebration of UP Cebu Intramural 2011 is the irony the students from the University of the Philippines Cebu College had to take after three UPians together with 36 farmers, were arrested in the dispersal of a human barricade in Aloguinsan. 

Some people blame the aggressive student activism. They say UP students have gone beyond what they are capacitated to do and the arrest is just a reminder that they should abate rallies and just stay inside the campus. But the claim is unfair.

Although rallying has become the “mark” of UP students as many would say, what the students did in Aloguinsan was not an abuse of their right to assembly nor was it neither inappropriate nor unethical. It was learning through the hard way, learning through reality.

To point, Melanie Montano, Remy Manzon and Januelle Rontos were only there for Basic Masses Integration (BMI), a program which aims students discover and experience firsthand plight of the masses. They were there to know what is really happening outside the school campus—to be aware, and not to cause trouble nor obstruct justice, as the police would claim. And not many of the students of today would dare do it.

The students were not to be blamed. They went there voluntarily because they believe that learning should not end with theories. Books could not offer that kind of knowledge. Only then does learning become complete and authentic when it is applied. And by struggling with the farmers, these students surely had a cup-full of gen.

Charged with resistance to arrest and direct assault to person in authority, Montano, Manzon and Rontos served 3 nights and four days in jail—enough to make a statement on how diseased the law of the state has become and how poor the agrarian sector of the country is.

And as these students attended the Intramurals after they were freed from the hands of the authorities, they know for a fact that the experience was a mirror to show how authorities use power to break voices.

They were arrested not because they had the kind of tone that insulted the authority. They were seized because of the fact that they actually had voice and with that, they know that the battle for justice had just started.

The Crown Last Held

I have heard a lot of second chances stories- those with happy endings, inspiring lessons and the promises of a happy ever after. I had always thought that these stories were just made to remind us that life does not stop when we commit a single mistake. They were products of imaginative minds who want to make life look less miserable. But never in my life did I realize that a second chance story had played a crucial part in my life for the past eighteen years of my life… not until New Year came.

Welcoming the New Year has always been a double celebration for the family. It is not just celebrating another year of a roller coaster ride but it also a day when my Papa grows a year older. He turned 50.

 We prepared a party for him where his close friends and officemates could come together and enjoy. Almost everyone got drunk, including Papa. Unlike some men who get violent and wicked after drinking liquor, my Papa becomes very generous, sweet and talkative. In fact, I like him when he gets drunk because he does not just give me money, but he also talks a lot of funny things, secrets even, which is contrary to his personality. I call him a man of few words when he is sober because he really is not expressive of his thoughts.

 Among the random things he shared that night, one story did catch my attention, which is a story about a man he once knew.

The story was about a city boy who lived a comfortable life. He had almost everything he needed. He lived in a spacious house. He studied in one of the city’s most prominent universities. But among all of the things that he could ask for, one very precious thing seemed out of his reach… he did not have a happy family. His father was not always home and he barely see his parents hugging and kissing each other. He never had a happy memory at home. As he grew up, he learned to smoke, drink, and worse, even took drugs as a sort of escape from reality. He graduated and had a decent job but he could not resist the power of the drugs until he got married and had kids. His life became miserable. His salary was not enough to provide the needs of his growing family and his own addiction. His relationship with his wife was failing and his wife attempted to leave him and go back to her province. He decided to go with his wife and kids and sacrificed his life in the big city. In a small yet peaceful place, the boy who was now a man started a new life with his family. And believe me, they did not start great. Away from the mean streets of the city, they started from scratch… from nothing. Step by step, the man’s addiction to drugs was slowly healed through abstinence and self-control. After years of perseverance and with the help of God, the man was able to create a respectable career and build his own blissful empire where he was the king, and his wife as the queen.

It’s quite amazing how possible it is for a drug addict to become a source of hope and inspiration; for a villain to become a hero; or for a criminal to become an advocate of peace.  The story teaches us one important lesson that I am sure we are all aware of, but we take for granted to believe. People do deserve second chances. People do change, and it is in the process of that “change” that we realize how wonderful they can be.  Making wrong decisions in life is not enough to say that we have to stop from dreaming or think that we are unworthy to be happy or to be successful in whatever endeavor we may have. Sometimes, a step backward helps us to make a full step forward and be able to take on a bigger mark.

The story may just be one of those stories of second chances but it is different when you know that it did actually happen in real life, where the boy, who is now a man, worked his way through for a better life and became victorious in his conquest and was able to survive the biggest wave in his life so far.

I don't know how the story will end, but I know that the man himself is sitting beside me that night.

Her Secrets

Her Secrets

She eloped with her first boyfriend at the age of 18. They got married. But after 24 years of marriage, he left her with a younger woman.

Hilda (not her real name) is fifty-nine years old. The other woman is thirty. She has three children, the other has one. And one of the things they have in common? They have the same husband.

But unlike in movies, Hilda never confronted the woman nor made a fool out of her spouse. And although it was quite impossible to remain decent at a certain situation, she never said a word to anyone, not to her family, and never to her children.

“ Lahi ang pagka-martyr sa sakripisyo. Nisakripisyo ko kay naa ko’y mga anak,” says she.

Upon learning about her husband’s betrayal nine years ago, Hilda did not make a drastic decision of a marital separation. In fact, a legal separation never occurred even up to the moment. Her husband, who is working at Zamboanga City as a chief mechanic thought his secret is safe. He gives money for his family in Cebu and he just goes home once or twice a year. Never did he realize that it was in fact her mistress who called Hilda and told her about his infidelity.

“Nagpriso ko sa akong kaugalingon sa kwarto. Akong gibitad akong mga buhok. Nabuang ko kadali kay wa ko magtuo nga iya tong mabuhat,” Hilda confessed.

And that was just the start of her suffering. Her husband was not anymore the good provider that he used to be. The money that he sends to his family became lesser that it was not even enough to support their basic needs. So Hilda had to find ways not to make her children feel abandoned. She put up a small sari-sari store and as early as 3 am, Hilda is already up making coffees, which she sells at P6 per cup. And her husband? He just gives whenever he remembers that he still has a family in Cebu.

Republic Act 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004 that defines psychological violence as acts or omissions causing to mental or emotional suffering of a victim ..and unwanted deprivation of the right to custody and visitation of children, creates a ground for Hilda to file a case against her husband giving him a penalty of six to twelve years of imprisonment. But Hilda conceded.  .

“Maot ang resulta sa akong mga anak.  Dili ko ganahan nga mas  murebelde sila sa ako,” explains Hilda.

Her children eventually learned about their father’s unfaithfulness, which caused his eldest and second son not to finish college. Hilda’s youngest daughter though, graduated in Nursing and is now helping Hilda in their daily living.  She too just conceived a child without a father.

However, despite the pain and trials, Hilda believes that she has successfully raised her children and lived her life through God’s help.

“Sa taas ra jud ko magkuha og kusog,” Hilda says.

According to her, problems become smaller and less stressful if you have a big God.

“I thought nga di ko kabuhi sa akong mga anak. Karon kabalo ko nga bisag wala ko’y bana, makaya nako,” says Hilda.

Hilda and her husband are still married at the moment. He goes home once in a blue moon not to give money to Hilda, but to ask for help to his first family because he himself is not anymore capable of providing the needs of his second family. At 59, he still has to raise a grade school child. And with that, Hilda just knew that she has won the battle.

The notion of a man leaving his wife for younger a woman is as old as Christmas itself. However, such case has been very rampant for the past years that it does not just involve the marital breakdown between couples but also the issues of child custody and the need for women empowerment.

According to the University of the Philippines High School Guidance Counselor, Annabelle Maglasang, cases of infidelity among married couples, opens up a door for women to become fully aware of their rights and privileges of being a wife and a mother.

“If the marriage does not work and the infidelity of your husband is proven to be true, then break it up. It is your right. Be psychologically sane. Never be a martyr,’’ says she.

She said that the problem becomes more complicated if the couple stays together in the same roof because their children will see them fighting all the time, which may traumatize the children in the future.

Also, she stressed that a woman should have to have her own career because it is most difficult to let go of a marriage if she is economically and emotionally dependent to her husband. It is but a fulfilling feeling to know that a woman is capable of living her life without the shadow of her spouse.

Maglasang also stated the reason why men commit infidelity.

 “Men tend to find other women because they get bored with the usual viand. They look for a more palatable food, something fresh,” says she.

We can’t just directly blame men for leaving their wives without taking a deeper level of understanding on why, in the first place, they committed such act. A man may leave his wife because she has no time for him anymore or the energy that they used to have becomes a dead battery- lifeless. The same is true with women’s infidelity. It takes two to make a relationship work so each party is expected to do their part.

Hilda admitted that her husband has needs which she could not anymore provide because she has been too busy being a mother. However, she still believes that no matter what the consequences are, a good husband will always be faithful to his wife.

Attribution:

• Photo by: Atty.Robert A. Gleaner, PC